I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
