And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
