Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
