Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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