Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
