Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
