Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
