I cannot find my penis.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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