I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
