I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
