Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
