Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
