what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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