Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
