I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
i think my cat just said my name.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
