I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
