So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
