she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
