just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
