I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Success! We fucked roommates!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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