my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
