I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
