Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
