she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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