so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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