you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
