i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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