I can't breathe out the right side of my face
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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