So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
