I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
