you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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