hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
