we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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