i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
