I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
They left me at home... I'm a liability
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
