ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
