we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
