the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
