I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
