I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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