if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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