first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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