you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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