$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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