Got a toothbrush?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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