Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
