it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
