2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
