I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
