I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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