When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
